A PECULIAR DREAM

I had a dream, as Martin Luther King would say. But it wasn't exactly about a fairer world, where everyone was equal, or anything like that.

It happened, as always in dreams, that I thought I was awake. That's why I started to act like every morning before leaving for work: shower and frugal breakfast.

Meanwhile, I was listening to the news on the radio, flipping through the newspaper that had just landed on my doorstep. Then I had the first surprise. Among the usual dire news, a huge advertisement stood out in bright colors. It read: “DRY PUSSY, THE WOMEN'S PROTECTION THAT KEEPS YOUR PANTIES SAFE FROM ANY JUNK THAT SQUIRTS BETWEEN YOUR LEGS”. Such a text was accompanied by the image of a beautiful woman lying on her back, with her legs wide open. The model maneuvered to put on or take off an intimate press inside which a feminine towel was observed, attached. In such a position, the young woman showed a close-up of her most hidden areas. I was shocked. Let's not deny that it is a very strange way to start any day.

My surprise was even greater when from the radio, which was broadcasting an advertising batch, a masculine and strident voice warned: “NO SIZE COMPLEXES ARE OVER! TRY THE NEW ALLARGEITOR PLUS, AND YOU WILL HAVE SOMETHING LIKE PEOPLE, AND NOT THAT RIDICULOUS PEANUT THAT EMBARRASSES YOU SO MUCH! THE MOST SUCCESSFUL DEVICE IN EUROPEAN PORNOSHOPS, FINALLY AMONG US! FREE SALES IN KIOSKS, PHARMACIES AND HARDWARE STORES”.

It was unheard of. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing. Assuming I was hallucinating, I pushed the journal away from me, turned off the radio, and grabbed the TV remote, turning it on immediately. The day before, he had tuned into one of the open channels that only broadcast extensive “informals” of a different nature early in the morning. No more than, generally, demonstrations of some kitchen items or gym equipment. That was what they were doing, with the difference that this time a man and a woman were talking about the benefits of a set of sex toys that was sold by mail order. I was paralyzed when I heard dialogues like:

-“John…I think that this marvelous vibrator made entirely of the latest hypoallergenic materials cannot leave any woman unsatisfied, no matter how hot she is…ha. ha, ha!" - she said, while she took an enormous artificial phallus in her hands and showed it to the cameras.

- "That's right, Betty... If we continue looking at this spectacular collection of articles for the sexual recreation of the whole family, we see that this perfect false vagina. It is made of polyurethane with maximum flexibility, it can delight all devotees of oral sex. Now they don't have to wait to win a woman or get their partner's approval before they can stick their tongue as deep as they want,” he said, holding up a strange, vaguely rounded object with a slit in the middle.

-“And it will also give them an enviable training in the noble art of using the language, not just to say stupid things. All women enjoy like pigs when they lick us there. We will know how to properly appreciate whoever has trained with this marvelous product”.- the girl replied.

-“Oh, look what we have here! A beautiful panties made of fine leather designed for changing roles, equipped with a huge prosthesis that simulates a perfect penis down to the smallest details. In addition, it has a similar attachment, but with an adjustable size inside, so that both can enjoy. It is ideal for those couples in which both like to receive equally. I think I'll take this home with me, and maybe tonight my wife and I will try it... Ha, ha, ha!" - said the boy, displaying an artifact whose existence I was completely unaware of until that dreamlike moment.

-"I'm not surprised, John…we all know how you like to get screwed in the stern. Instead, I'm going to opt for this beautiful double dildo, perfect for the hot encounters we have with my best friend. With it, we can both satisfy each other at the same time, without those annoying alternations, where one is active and the other is passive. It's great!" - she almost screamed, holding an artificial member that would easily measure one meter, with a huge glans at each end.

– “Therefore, friends, nothing better than this “Hard Sex Kit”! And everyone will be able to enjoy in their own home just by calling the phone numbers that they will see on the screen below. Remember: if you call in the next 30 minutes, we will send you absolutely free two tubes of the sensational OPEN ALL dilator cream, whose exclusive and totally natural formula will make no sphincter resist you" - finished the man, looking at the camera.

Immediately, both closed the address with a resounding "CALL NOW, AND START ENJOYING IMMEDIATELY!". I began to see a long succession of phone numbers from different countries, each with a little flag on the side.

It was too much for me. I collapsed into a chair, my breathing ragged and my pulse racing. “WHAT WAS HAPPENING???!!!”, I was yelling to myself. I verified that it was not a channel dedicated to pornography. Although I was not a subscriber to that type of service.

It took me at least ten minutes to get moving again, and it was to go to my home mailbox. I was wanting to find something that would give me a bit of rationality to hold on to on that very rare morning. It was crammed with envelopes and brochures of various sizes; I opened it and took those papers, returning immediately to see what all the correspondence was about.

I spread everything out on the dining room table, and began to examine each piece. A large brochure on glossy paper told me about an unmissable offer: fifteen days of vacation in the Caribbean, more precisely on "LA ISLA DE LOS TRANSVESTIS"! It showed a place clearly infested with “trans” people, who were displayed completely naked, in all kinds of lewd positions and highly aroused in the multiple photos in the brochure. I couldn't help but smile when I read something like: "Satisfaction guaranteed!" "We assure you that when you get out of there you will not be able to sit down for three days, or your money back!"

As incredible as that, it seemed to me a magazine that mixed what would be more or less traditional pornography with entertainment gossip and politics. It had titles such as: "THE ARGENTINIANS SWEAT IN THE 'INTERNATIONAL ORGY AWARDS' NOMINATIONS FOR THE BEST ORGIES IN THE WORLD." It was illustrated with images of extensive sexual encounters with people naked and inexplicably entangled with each other.

Another notable headline was: “FREE! ONLY FOR PET LOVERS; FIRST DELIVERY OF THE ZOOFILIA COURSE FOR BEGINNERS. ALL THE SECRETS OF ANIMAL SEX AT YOUR FINGERTIPS!

In a fit of indignation and obfuscated astonishment, I threw away all that printed rubbish, which ended up next to the newspaper where I found the first abnormality. I immediately unplugged the radio and the television with violent jerks, as if believing in my dream that in this way I would not receive such disturbing messages again.

NIGHTMARE AT THE DOOR

Still agitated, and without understanding anything of what was happening, I heard the entrance bell ring. Upset, I opened the door. I found an imposing woman, much taller than me and well muscled, barely covered by a skimpy black leather dress. Decorated with a profusion of studs and buckles, full of strategic openings, it revealed all his private parts. He had a strange mask that gave him a decidedly devilish appearance, and he carried a sinister five-pronged whip in his right hand.

- "Hello, worm. I come to give you your daily dose of lashes and mistreatment, because you can't live without being beaten, right?" - she said with a mannish voice, as she advanced towards me, brandishing the whip with a threatening gesture.

-“I…no…Who are you and what do you want?…Get out of my house right now!”- I managed to say, terrified.

- "Shut up, slop! ... and thank you that I keep coming, because your damn social work has not paid for the sadomasochism practices at home for two months. They think that one perfected so many years to work for free! Let's start once and for all, I still have to visit three more clients..."- he said, while giving me a ferocious lash to the full face, which made me fall to my knees.

There it all ended. Fortunately, that excruciating nightmare, the weirdest I've ever had in my life, ended at that precise moment. I woke up on the floor, after falling out of bed and hitting my right cheekbone with the edge of the bedside table. Obviously, I believed that this was the lash that the "dominatrix" of my reverie had given me.

HAPPY ENDING?

Battered, I got up as best I could, and tried to place myself back in reality. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, and I had decided to take a nap at home. I was coming back from a meal with friends that was too well stocked and watered down. And so it was that I dreamed those monstrosities.

As the last images of the ill-fated dream faded in my head, I couldn't help but be glad that real life was so different. Some modesty still remained, and there will always be things that people prefer to hide. Whether for a minimum of good taste and modesty, or for fear of social condemnation or judicial punishment.

I showered quickly. Now awake, I decided to kill time watching television, for lack of anything better. I turned on the device and tuned it to my favorite channel, “Sudamérica Televisión”. They were broadcasting one of the programs that gave the most talk: "Confiésate con Brigitte", hosted by the former vedette Brigitte Ordóñez.

The theme of that day was extremely interesting: "My daughter is a polysexual fetishist nymphomaniac." A grieving woman told the host, the 200-person audience in the studio, and all the audience, her daughter's story. It was a teenager who was sitting next to him with a dismissive expression.

Apparently, the girl was a fornicating machine with everyone who came across her, in addition to having an appreciable collection of fetishes sexual. Her mother had brought them in a large box and was displaying them to the camera without any qualms, obviously seized with indignation. Impressive was an old champagne bottle that along its neck showed encrustations of various abrasive materials, such as glued sandpaper, sand glued to glass, and wire rings.

As the woman spoke, the young woman showed signs of contained annoyance. And the climactic moment occurred. The mother said that, shortly after her 15th birthday, her daughter had to be hospitalized urgently to be able to extract a large monkey wrench that had been inserted into the most remote parts of her anatomy. She couldn't get it off herself without sexually mutilating herself.

There the girl stopped and began to scream, saying that it was her mother who had taught her these things. From a very young age, she gave her dolls to which she added huge sexual organs made of cloth or clay.

Furious, the woman stood up and slapped her daughter resoundingly. The girl returned the attack with a spit in the face. And from there everything was chaos. The driver had to intervene so that both women did not hit each other with the chairs that they were already brandishing as throwing objects.

Immediately, the publicity round began, while I continued to congratulate myself on having returned to the placid and kind reality after such a scatological and unpleasant dream like the one I had a while before.